Gracetta-The Incredible Interconnectedness of Life
This is a blog about a special family and one really remarkable afternoon almost 4 years ago. Doggies for Dementia Foundation is indeed part of my sacred journey as was the entire journey of writing Just See Me-Sacred Stories from the Ot
Gracetta, Vashti, Vidette and Sara)
her Side of Dementia.
Gracetta’s family agreed to participate in my book, which is filled with stories and images of families impacted by dementia. They were one of the thirteen families I got to know and followed for a few years. I wanted to share the stories of what is was really like to be impacted by dementia with hopes of raising awareness and helping to create a more kind and loving world. I had no idea just how it would change my life too.
There Are No Coincidences
There are no coincidences, just miracles we didn’t see coming. I was at one of my favorite pizza places with a friend. The pizza place went under over the pandemic, which is really sad, but I I don’t want to chase squirrels and go off topic. On this day back in 2017, we were talking about my plans to leave my 40 year career and write a book. I guess we got a little excited and loud, which is not new. Before we left, another patron of the pizza place walked up to us and explained how she couldn’t help overhearing and she was also a nurse-like me. She told of how she was finishing her DNP-Doctor of Nursing while caring for her mother who has dementia. See? There are no coincidences. It wasn’t long before I met her mother and sister, and their chapter in my book began. I took some photos and spent the better part of an afternoon getting to know them and hearing some remarkable stories about Gracetta, their mother. Gracetta spoke only a little bit, but the way she looked at her daughters was unmistakable. There was so much love in the room. I’m so glad Vashti approached us because she and her sister, Vidette and mother, Gracetta hold special places in my heart.
The Reveal
Before the book came out, I delivered prints to the families who participated in Just See Me-Sacred Stories from the Other Side of Dementia. This was before I recognized how important it is to capture the “reveal.” It isn’t unusual for me to deliver prints and other products to families in person. It’s actually a treat. Even though we know what to expect, since they previously picked out the photos, it’s still a uniquely special time to see the prints.
Gracetta Forbes March, 2016
This experience with Gracetta, Vashti Jude and Sara lead me to always include a special “Reveal” portion to our Doggies for Dementia Foundation sessions, and I video and photograph the first time they see their images. Sometimes these are as precious as the original photo session.
On this day, Vashti Jude, Gracetta’s daughter pulled out each of the matted prints from the gift bag and described where they might display their new artwork. It was a beautiful exchange. As an artist, mother, and daughter, I was left with goose bumps knowing I was in the presence of a divine moment. So much love in one room. By the way, goosebumps are my personal indicator of divine presence, and when I get them during a shoot, I know the best shot, showing the real essence was just taken.
Her response was such a treat for all of us. This memory will stay with me for a very long time.
We may mistakenly believe that people with dementia don’t recognize loved ones and don’t experience joy. The truth is there may be days when recognition is brighter, and those days are glorious days! Gracetta recognized her daughter and caregivers, and I believe recognized me from before. She could speak with her eyes when her voice no longer carried. On this day, there is no doubt she understood and felt the love of her daughters and caregiver Sara in the photographs. The look on her face and her few words, lit us up with Love. Gracetta recognized LOVE. I sit in absolute reverence for the honor to share, capture and be a part of these extraordinary occasions.
Gracetta passed a year later making this even more special. Just See Me-Sacred Stories from the Other Side of Dementia was published in May of 2018 two months after Gracetta’s passing. This short video meant a lot to Vashti and her sister Vidette back in 2017 and I imagine it still does. Gracetta’s responses for those few short moments are priceless. I attended her memorial and shed tears knowing I too had experienced the incredible interconnectedness of life.
When times are challenging for all nonprofits including Doggies for Dementia Foundation during this pandemic, I only need to sit back and feel moments like this. We experience miracles daily, and this is what matters.
Her daughters wrote, “On March 8, 2018, Mom joined her heavenly family after sharing her love and life with us for 77 years. Symbolic of her name, Mom lived a life that exuded grace, humility and joy.”
Just See Me-Sacred Stories from the Other Side of Dementia
Carmen, What you did with that family is wonderful. That was a great way for Gracetta and her daughters to share time and love with each other. Just reading it uplifted me and added to my understanding of dementia and what Doggies for Dementia does. No wonder that it touched you!
Thank you so much Joyce! I’m glad it uplifted you too.